Great Sunburnt-Vampire Conspiracy Archive


Master Conspiracy Theorist

This topic will be used as a list of all my conspiracy theories, so that I have a way to keep track of them, and maybe find connections between them.

I'm making this because quite often I'll look at the latest post on /r/bcube and think "Didn't I have a similar theory a month ago?" and either the subreddit has no search function, or I'm blind, because I then have to scroll through heaps of pages until I find what I posted, this way I can just come here and then ctrl-f for "robots" or "space". I will add to this if I find stuff from before I forgot to add, or when I come up with new theories


Mason Smith

  • Not much said about him yet, other than that he is a loser. Because he is a loser he has no option but to accept the uncle's invitation, but since he is a loser why did they pick him? by the sounds of it the uncle isn't overly fond of him, Mason must have been the only person they figured would accept the invitation, in which case, the aviators must be dangerous, not enough information to decide what kind of dangerous yet though

Uncle Evans
  • Hasn't been heard from for a year, probably working on top secret aviator stuff
  • When Mason tried to call him back the line had been cut off, this further suggests the aviators are top secret, girls may or may not be spies trying to steal the aviators

Erik Gudmund
  • Is an good guy, is on sports scholarship, in a fight to protect the aviators, he will probably be a big help, may be employed as Mason's bodygaurd

Zach Stringer
  • he's a "self proclaimed l337 hacker", may be an actual hacker trying to hack in NEST database for blueprints on aviators, who decided to try hiding in plain site.
  • He likes hats, may or may not have sci-fi hats.

Jade Palmer
  • Is Best Girl
  • A shroud of uncertainty surrounds her future, she may be being blackmailed into stealing the aviators
  • Is probably sick of everyone giving her green clothes

Charlotte Taliani
  • Taliani means "italians" in Slovak. I have absolutely no idea what this means.
  • She used to work for a cafe. Said cafe is almost certainly a mafia front, so she used to work for the mafia. She is probably tasked with stealing the aviators.
  • She knows many languages, but does she know the language of love? Seriously though this means she could be working for anybody overseas instead of the italian mafia, like the russian mafia

Sarah ????
  • her hair is grey/silver. She may be a robot/cyborg.
  • She is an over-achiever. Lecturer probably sticks her with Mason hoping she rubs off on him. Probably works if you go down her route

Mari Sauza
  • Don't think we know much about her yet other than that she is friendly. She's probably the only person who tries to befriend a loser like Mason

Rachel & Holly Delacroix
  • they are apparently twins, may just be one person, but there's a glitch in the aviators and Mason sees two, or he is always drunk when he meets them. Or it is just one lonely girl who pretends to have a twin sister

Abigail Page
  • She's a feminist, is probably tsundere
  • Does engineering and thinks Mason is worthless, she probably helped design/build the aviators, and can't stand the idea of a loser like Mason wearing them

Natasha Reynolds
  • She's from space, is probably related to Malcom Reynolds from Firefly
  • If you get her bad ending, she goes to space and leaves you

Annabel Lovett
  • is no longer a main grill, however the info on her is from when she was planned to be, so conclusions made from it about other stuff are still relevant, plus she remains as a side grill
  • Has a garden which isn't popular and no-one visits, since she is now a side-character, I can see her becoming similar to Yuuko in Katawa Shoujo, a person in charge of the place the main character goes to when they want to be alone, and sometimes offers relationship advice.

Other Theories

  • Clothing. Specifically, accessories, almost every character has one (Mason/Aviators, Zac/Hats, Jade&Charlotte/Necklace, Mari/Ring etc.), could be sci-fi accessories.
  • Mentioned this previously in the post, but the aviators could be valuable new technology which other universities/governments/companies/organisations try to steal.
  • The aviators might give Mason something helpful for the dating sim, such as the ability to "see" how much girls like him, or to "see" the options available to him (e.g. talk to girl, don't talk to girl)

Hints/Gibberish with no real theory yet

  • 54 1987 B


Glorious Leader

This thread is Dev-Approved. Keep up the good work.

Directing college girl boning simulators since January 2014



Sick of everybody giving her green clothes? Green is associated with sickness. Does this confirm that Jade drops SICK rhymes?

Confirmed: /12 years old/Australian/Meat pie salesman/Lawyer/


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ChuckTheHulk wrote

Jade drops SICK rhymes?



Art Manager

ChuckTheHulk wrote

Sick of everybody giving her green clothes? Green is associated with sickness. Does this confirm that Jade drops SICK rhymes?

sorry Chuck. forgot she was supposed to be associated with purple.

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